作者：Q.Allan Brocka 《Advocate》雜志
中文來源：mjjcn.com 翻譯：Jady
當陪審團的挑選程式開始後，特立獨行的紀錄片公司《奇幻世界》邀請我和我的夥伴去拍攝一部電影，專門描寫在加州聖瑪麗亞法庭外有所行動的歌迷，並且在審判期間對Jackson表示聲援。真不賴的主意！講述別人所不齒或懼怕的事物是我的事業。
然而當我開始涉及案件，我發現要得到未經處理的真相簡直難如登天。人們委以信任的新聞機構總是用“怪異”、“荒謬”等詞大肆妄加評論，並且總是抓住他的外表、嗓音和行為方式等等話題不放。Jackson所引起的種族以及性別的狂熱話題令我意識到我們必須深入探討性以外的一些問題，比如種族和性別的分化。
我又重新審視了我最初的定論——說實話吧，為什麼我認為他可能有罪？因為我覺得他是個封閉自我的怪人。然後呢？得了吧！我自作主張將孤僻的怪人與犯人混為一談——這是有史以來最徹底的謊言，而我自己甚至也險些為其主宰。
對Jackson的家——Neverland的十年追蹤一無所獲，除了兩本藝術圖冊和一些異性戀的色情文學。這次審判唯一能下的結論可能只有一個——Michael Jackson是個異性戀。如果他們找到了什麼可疑的錄像帶或者拷貝會怎樣？想到人們會因此判定一個清白的人有孌童罪我就不寒而慄。
上個月我拍到了一名年輕女子，她在Jackson離開法庭回家的路上趕上了他的SUV車。這名女子身患癌癥，她擔心這次因為拯救癌癥兒童而遭受的指控會使得Jackson自此放棄對他人的援助。但是Jackson在傾聽她的病情後緊緊地握住她的雙手並親切的鼓勵了她。對於她來說，他的這一個手勢就代替了全世界。盡管自己的家庭危機尚存，Jackson仍舊耐心的花時間關心別人——無一日例外。
就在我們開始拍攝歌迷的幾個星期後，Jackson把我們請進了Neverland。我們一行大約有70人，年齡10到80歲不等。放下攝影機，我們和歌迷們一起走進了Neverland，而Michael則走到我們面前來迎接我們。Michael讓我們看了他的孩子們——Prince、Paris和Blanket。孩子們向我們招手，而人群則尖叫道：“我們愛你們！”
有時候我看向周圍的人們，那些臉孔全部似曾相識。我知道這一刻對於他們來說意味著什麼——他們正在經歷人生最扣人心弦的時刻。
那一刻我意識到——我也一樣。
在Neverland，Michael和他的孩子以及雙親與我們親密無間，他們對我們表示無限的感激。當我走過他身邊時他露出了燦爛的微笑，而我能說的只有：“謝謝你的音樂。”事後我狠狠地踢了自己一腳——我可以說的太多了，但我卻引用了ABBA樂隊的話給流行之王。
在此之後，我再難形容我的感受。我被鋪天蓋地的幸福感包圍了。我熱淚盈眶，連靈魂都在顫抖。我覺得自己變得更加樂善好施，更加謙虛——我變成了一個更好的人。我環顧四周，看著我的記錄片素材們，在滿腔激動之下，看到了他們的共通之處：Michael Jackson引出了他們最好的一面。
我的朋友們說我被洗腦了，我是個怪人。而每次有機會我都會為Jackson的案子爭辯。而這一切的源頭並非Neverland之旅，而是我意識到仇視同性戀和性歧視在公眾意識中竟然有如此大的影響，以至於人們認定他“可能有罪”。
無論如何，有兩件事我非常清楚：其一，Michael Jackson對幫助別人奉獻良多，以致于成千上萬人因他而過上了更好的生活。其二，Michael Jackson是一名美國公民，因此他應該和所有的美國公民一樣在被證有罪之前仍保有清白之軀。讓法庭來定奪吧。
"A stranger in Neverland" (Q. Allan Brocka, 2005)
From The Advocate, June 7, 2005
By Q. Allan Brocka
When Michael Jackson was indicted, something in my gut told me he was probably guilty. Pity, because I liked that he was becoming so freaky over the years. As a lifelong weirdo myself it’s always nice to have a talented celebrity join the club. But a child molester? Not the kind of company I need in my club.
I left it at that and didn’t put much more thought into it.
When jury selection began, rebel documentary production company World of Wonder asked me and my directing partner to shoot a film about the fans who were moving to Santa Maria , California , to voice support for Jackson during the trial. Brilliant! Telling the stories of those that most people dismiss as strange is my thing.
But as I researched the case, I found it difficult to get facts free of editorial. Trusted news organizations peppered words like “weird” and “Michael” throughout their coverage and took knocks at his looks, voice and manner. The jabs at his race and gender reminded me how far we have to go in acceptance not only of sexuality but of racial and gender diversity.
I re-examined my initial hunch. Why had I thought he was “probably guilty”? Honestly? Because I thought he was a closeted gay man. And then – snap! I had made the leap from closeted gay to pedophile all on my very own. It is one of the most fundamental lies used to perpetuate homophobia, and on some level I fell for it.
Ten years of raiding Neverland, Jackson ’s home, have turned up nothing but two art books and a bunch of hetero porn. This trial could end proving nothing except that Michael Jackson is heterosexual. What if they’d found a Falcon video or even just a copy of The Advocate? It’s frightening to think that the discovery of one of those items could seal someone’s conviction as a child molester. I’ve got lots of both.
Last month I filmed a young woman who approached Jackson ’s SUV on his way home from court. She was struggling with cancer and afraid the accusation that Jackson had molested a 13-year-old cancer survivor might frighten Jackson from ever reaching out again. But Jackson held her hand tightly and gave her encouragement as she told him of her impending bone-marrow transplant. His simple gesture meant the world to her. With his own family hanging in the balance, Jackson still takes the time to make a difference to people. Every day.
After we’d spent weeks outside Neverland filming the fans, Michael Jackson invited us all inside. There were about 70 of us, ranging in age from 10 to 80. Leaving our camera behind, we walked with the fans right up to the porch, and Michael stepped out to greet us. He presented his children: Prince, Paris, and Prince II (a.k.a. Blanket). The kids waved, and the crowd screamed, “We love you!”
Once inside, I looked at the faces around me, many of them so familiar. I knew what this moment meant to them. I knew all of them were right then experiencing one of the highlights of their lives.
It was then I realized, so was I.
Inside Neverland, Michael, his children, and his parents mingled with us, making a point to personally thank as many as possible. He smiled graciously as I passed him, and all I could think to say was, “Thank you for the music”. Later I kicked myself. I could’ve said anything, but I quoted ABBA to the King of Pop.
Since then, I’ve been unable to describe the experience without thinking I sound like a lunatic. The happiness was overwhelming. Tears welled up in my eyes. There was something almost spiritual about it. I felt kinder, more generous, a better person. I looked around at my documentary subjects, giddy with excitement, and finally saw what they had in common: Michael Jackson brought out the best in them.
My friends say I’m brainwashed, a Michael. I argue Jackson ’s case every chance I get. But it wasn’t Neverland that changed me as much as the realization that homophobia and sexism play such large roles in the public’s perception that he’s “probably guilty”.
Whatever the eventual verdict, two things I know: One, Michael Jackson has committed so much of himself to helping others that thousands of people are better off because of him. Two, Michael Jackson is an American citizen. Just one of those is enough to let him be innocent until proven guilty. Give him his day in court.
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