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2013-09-16

我的童年、安息日和自由

這是 Michael 在2000年12月1日 親筆之作 ...

從他的文字...可以知道他確是上帝最愛的兒子, 
只是對安息日也有這麼深刻的體會 ....


 
"安息日隨想"  
我的童年、安息日和自由     
作者:Michael Jackson       翻譯:  AllenKids      

 (此文首刊於200012月的《Beliefnet)
童年 你可曾了解我的童年? 幼時我曾尋找那種神奇 像是冒險之夢裡的海盗、 夢中有征服、寶座上的國王……” 詞曲Michael Jackson

         在一次談話中,我的朋友Rabbi Shmuley告訴我他曾經要求他的一些同事——包括作家、思想家、藝術家,坦陈自己對安息日的思考。然後他建議我也寫下自己對這個話題的看法,這是個引人入勝的題目而且其時剛好趕上Rose Fine的逝世,她是位猶太婦女,曾是我幸福童年時的家庭教師,在Jackson 5時期就是她陪伴着我和我的哥哥們各地巡演的。

        上個星期五我參加了Rabbi Shmuley和他的家人、來賓在家中舉行的安息日晚宴。我發現了一個特殊的舉動,Shmuley和他的妻子把手放在自己的小孩們頭頂,並祝福他们象Abrah amSarah槺一樣成長,這是一個古老的猶太傳統。

       這讓我想起了自己的童年,還有安息日我成長的意義。當人們看到八九歲的我出現在電視中並由此開始我一生的音樂生涯時,他們僅僅看到一個爍爛微笑的小男孩。他們確定這個小男孩之所以微笑是因為他很高興,他之所以唱出心聲是因為他很快樂,他之所以充滿活力的舞蹈是因為他無憂無慮。但是當我歌唱和舞蹈時,當然毫無疑問的,那是我最快槳的時刻之一,同時我卻極度渴望兩件可以使我的童年成為一生中最美好時光的東西,它們的名字是:遊戲時光和自由的感受。普羅大眾現在已經開始理解童星所承受的壓力,童星生涯令人興奮但往往要付出過高的代價。

       但是那時一周有一天的時間,不管怎樣,我都可以逃離荷里活的舞台和音樂廳中的人群。這一天就是安息日。在所有的宗教中,安息日都允許並且要求脱離日常生活,投入到例外的信仰生活中來。我很早的時候就從Rose那裡知道了猶太教安息日的一些情况,我的朋友Shmuley又更進一步的使我了解了這些,在猶太的安息日中,日常生活中做飯,買菜,剪草等活動是被禁止的,這樣人類就可以化平凡以為卓越,脱天然而生奇迹。甚至購物和開燈都是禁止的。

       在安息日那一天,世界上的每個都不再過着平凡的生活。但是我最想要的就是過平凡的生活。所以,在我的世界里,安息日是我脫離我獨特生活而稍微體驗平凡日子的時間。星期天是我先遣的日子,這個詞用來指代耶和華見証會所做的傳教工作的。我們會整天的在南加州的市郊挨家挨户的敲門或者在購物中心圍成圓圈,分發我們的守望相台雜誌。

        在我開始演唱生涯很久以後都還繼續做着先遣工作。回顧1991年我進行《Dangerous》巡演的時候,我會穿上肥大的衣服,戴上假髮、鬍鬚和眼鏡偽裝起來去體驗普通美國人的生活,逛逛商業大樓,在市郊的住宅區閒逛。我喜歡漫步在這些住宅之間,瞥見孩子們在蓬松的地毯和懶漢椅上玩大富翁,祖母在旁看護的情景等等所有這些美妙的平凡生活場景,這些對我來說是那麼的神奇。

      很多人,我知道,也許會反對說這些些看起來毫不起眼。但對我來說,它們絕對是最最迷人的。

      有趣的是,没有一個成年人會懷疑這個有着奇怪鬍鬚的男人的身份,但是孩子們却以他們超常的直癿立刻感到這。就象是Hamelin的花衣魔笛手一樣(過語出格林童話中《彩衣吹笛手》一篇,童話中的吹笛手具有使小孩着魔跟着他走的魔力),在我第二次去購物中心的時候我會發現自己後面跟着八九歲的孩子們。他們會跟隨着你,竊竊私語,咯咯的笑,但是他們不會向父母揭发發我的秘密。

      他們就像我的小跟班。嘿,也許你從我手中取過雜誌也說不定。現在開始疑惑了,是嗎?

      對我的成長來說星期天是神聖的,還有另外两個原因。它是我去教堂的日子,也是我最艱苦的彩排的日子。這看起來好像和安息日的休息相抵觸。但是這是我所能耗費自己時間的最神聖的途徑:進一步發展上帝賜予我的天賦。我所能表達感恩的最好的方式就是盡可能的利用天赐的才能。教堂擁有自己的規則,這對我來說又是一個回到平凡生活的機會。教堂中的長者待我和每個人並没有什麼不同。那些日子他們也從不為發現了我的行踪而擠滿教堂後部的記者們惱火。他們試著歡迎記者們的到來。不管怎麼說,記者也是上帝的子民。在印第安那州,我還小的時候,我們全家一齊上教堂。随着我們漸漸長大,這變得困難起來,我非凡的、真誠而神聖的母親有時最後會孤身前往教堂。當當環境對我來說變得太複雜以至不能前往時,我因這樣的信仰而稍感安慰,那就是上帝存在於我的心中,存在於音樂和美麗之中,而不僅僅在那所建築物中(教堂)。但是我仍然失去了在那裡會感到的人們抱成團的感覺……

       我想念朋友們,想念那些把我當作他們普通一份子的人們。纯粹的人們。與上帝共享一日的時光。當我成為了父親的時候,關於上帝和安息日的整個感受都被改寫了。當我看着我的兒子Prince和女兒Paris的瞳孔時,我看到了奇蹟,我看到了美好。每一天都像是安息日。有孩子在身旁讓我得以進入一個神奇而聖潔的世界,每一天,每一秒。我在孩子身上看到了神蹟。

     我通過和孩子交談和上帝溝通。我恭領神賜的祝福。在我生命中曾有過一段時間,像各位一樣,懷疑過神的存在。當Prince微笑時,當Paris 咯咯大笑時,我就再無疑惑。孩子是神賜予我們的禮物。……他們還不止如此……他們正是上帝能量、創造力和博愛的形式。他在孩子們的天真中被發現,在他們的嬉戲中被體驗。

     孩童時我最珍貴的日子是自由自在的那些星期天。這就是安息日一直以來對我的意義。自由的一日。現在我在作為父親時發現每一天都是自由而神奇的。

     令人驚訝的是,我們都擁有使每一天都成為寶貴的安息日的能力。我們只要將自己再次獻身於童年的神奇世界中,就可以做到。我們只要為那些我们稱之為兒=子、女兒的小人兒們貢獻全部的心力,
就可以做到。我們和他們共度的日子就是安息日。我們所處的地方就叫天堂。

(迈克尔·杰克逊中国网 byAllen Kids 2006517


 My Childhood, My Sabbath, My Freedom
 Friday, 01 December 2000   Michael Jackson
This story first ran on Beliefnet in December, 2000.
 Childhood "Have you seen my childhood? I’m searching for that wonder in my youth Like pirates in adventurous dreams, Of conquest and kings on the throne…" Written and Composed by Michael Jackson

    In one of our conversations together, my friend Rabbi Shmuley told me that he had asked some of his colleagues–-writers, thinkers, and artists-–to pen their reflections on the Sabbath. He then suggested that I write down my own thoughts on the subject, a project I found intriguing and timely due to the recent death of Rose Fine, a Jewish woman who was my beloved childhood tutor and who traveled with me and my brothers when we were all in the Jackson Five.

     Last Friday night I joined Rabbi Shmuley, his family, and their guests for the Sabbath dinner at their home. What I found especially moving was when Shmuley and his wife placed their hands on the heads of their young children, and blessed them to grow to be like Abraham and Sarah, which I understand is an ancient Jewish tradition. 

     This led me to reminisce about my own childhood, and what the Sabbath meant to me growing up. When people see the television appearances I made when I was a little boy--8 or 9 years old and just starting off my lifelong music career--they see a little boy with a big smile. They assume that this little boy is smiling because he is joyous, that he is singing his heart out because he is happy, and that he is dancing with an energy that never quits because he is carefree. But while singing and dancing were, and undoubtedly remain, some of my greatest joys, at that time what I wanted more than anything else were the two things that make childhood the most wondrous years of life, namely, playtime and a feeling of freedom. The public at large has yet to really understand the pressures of childhood celebrity, which, while exciting, always exacts a very heavy price. More than anything, I wished to be a normal little boy. I wanted to build tree houses and go to roller-skating parties. But very early on, this became impossible. I had to accept that my childhood would be different than most others. But that’s what always made me wonder what an ordinary childhood would be like. 

         There was one day a week, however, that I was able to escape the stages of Hollywood and the crowds of the concert hall. That day was the Sabbath. In all religions, the Sabbath is a day that allows and requires the faithful to step away from the everyday and focus on the exceptional. I learned something about the Jewish Sabbath in particular early on from Rose, and my friend Shmuley further clarified for me how, on the Jewish Sabbath, the everyday life tasks of cooking dinner, grocery shopping, and mowing the lawn are forbidden so that humanity may make the ordinary extraordinary and the natural miraculous. Even things like shopping or turning on lights are forbidden. 

       On this day, the Sabbath, everyone in the world gets to stop being ordinary. But what I wanted more than anything was to be ordinary. So, in my world, the Sabbath was the day I was able to step away from my unique life and glimpse the everyday. Sundays were my day for "Pioneering," the term used for the missionary work that Jehovah’s Witnesses do. We would spend the day in the suburbs of Southern California , going door to door or making the rounds of a shopping mall, distributing our Watchtower magazine. 

        I continued my pioneering work for years and years after my career had been launched. Up to 1991, the time of my Dangerous tour, I would don my disguise of fat suit, wig, beard, and glasses and head off to live in the land of everyday America , visiting shopping plazas and tract homes in the suburbs. I loved to set foot in all those houses and catch sight of the shag rugs and La-Z-Boy armchairs with kids playing Monopoly and grandmas baby-sitting and all those wonderfully ordinary and, to me, magical scenes of life. Many, I know, would argue that these things seem like no big deal.

      But to me they were positively fascinating. The funny thing is, no adults ever suspected who this strange bearded man was. 

      But the children, with their extra intuition, knew right away. Like the Pied Piper of Hamlin, I would find myself trailed by eight or nine children by my second round of the shopping mall. They would follow and whisper and giggle, but they wouldn't reveal my secret to their parents. 

They were my little aides. Hey, maybe you bought a magazine from me. Now you’re wondering, right? 

       Sundays were sacred for two other reasons as I was growing up. They were both the day that I attended church and the day that I spent rehearsing my hardest. This may seem against the idea of "rest on the Sabbath," but it was the most sacred way I could spend my time: developing the talents that God gave me. The best way I can imagine to show my thanks is to make the very most of the gift that God gave me. Church was a treat in its own right. It was again a chance for me to be "normal." The church elders treated me the same as they treated everyone else. And they never became annoyed on the days that the back of the church filled with reporters who had discovered my whereabouts. They tried to welcome them in. After all, even reporters are the children of God. When I was young, my whole family attended church together in Indiana . As we grew older, this became difficult, and my remarkable and truly saintly mother would sometimes end up there on her own. When circumstances made it increasingly complex for me to attend, I was comforted by the belief that God exists in my heart, and in music and in beauty, not only in a building. But I still miss the sense of community that I felt there--

        I miss the friends and the people who treated me like I was simply one of them. Simply human. Sharing a day with God. When I became a father, my whole sense of God and the Sabbath was redefined. When I look into the eyes of my son, Prince, and daughter, Paris, I see miracles and I see beauty. Every single day becomes the Sabbath. Having children allows me to enter this magical and holy world every moment of every day. I see God through my children. 

        I speak to God through my children. I am humbled for the blessings He has given me. There have been times in my life when I, like everyone, has had to wonder about God’s existence. When Prince smiles, when Paris giggles, I have no doubts. Children are God's gift to us. No--they are more than that--they are the very form of God's energy and creativity and love. He is to be found in their innocence, experienced in their playfulness. 

     My most precious days as a child were those Sundays when I was able to be free. That is what the Sabbath has always been for me. A day of freedom. Now I find this freedom and magic every day in my role as a father. 

      The amazing thing is, we all have the ability to make every day the precious day that is the Sabbath. And we do this by rededicating ourselves to the wonders of childhood. We do this by giving over our entire heart and mind to the little people we call son and daughter. The time we spend with them is the Sabbath. The place we spend it is called Paradise .


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